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Zen footbal

Written by on Saturday, 16 March 2013
Culture and History, Uzbekistan
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Uzbekistani footbal fans are shocked: authorities has banned painting on faces, hamsters and cats on stadiums, as well as shouting obscene slogans. But fans are allowed to enter a stadium with tickets

The amusing document was created in Uzbekistan. The author of this document is Tursunali Kuziev, the former Minister of Culture and Sport. Incidentally, it is interesting that in Uzbekistan, such different areas as sports and culture are headed by one person. The former minister was a painter. I wonder whether he understood the rules of basketball, for example? Or kerling rules? I do not know, but, nevertheless, he was able to finally release the order, which has combined both sport and culture. I mean the culture of football fans, which has essential attributes such as loud “slogans” (often obscene content), special clothing and colors of favourite team, which they are usually paint on their own face. For example, like this:

Photo: bigpicture.ru

Minister decided to do away with this footbal culture, releasing “Rules of the fans during football events.” Under these rules, our fans has lost their simple pleasures. What’s allowed and not allowed for them now? Let’s begin from what is allowed. So, under the new rules fans CAN:

- To enter stadium with a ticket.
Excuse me, can I enter the stadium without a ticket? No, you can’t now! The new rules!

- To bring cameras, phones, PLASTIC pipes and drums.
Uphhh, no more saxophones.

- To bring official club symbols, banners and flags of a 2 X 1 meter.
- What is the “official” symbols? There are any “unofficial”?

Now the fun part. What is FORBIDDEN:
- To be drunk, to smoke, to use torches, pyrotechnics, weapons, e.t.c.
So far so good.

- To bring animals.
Hey, this is the boiling point! My hamster is also the fan of “Pakhtakor”!

- To discriminate players, coaches, referees and other officials and fans by ethnicity or skin color.
Damn, European tolerance reached Uzbek football.

- Use a coarse, obscene, offensive language, gestures, songs, political slogans, chanting obscene and derogatory slogans.
All the chants about the judges will be forgotten.


And the most gusto:

- To stand during footbal match
Well it is clear, the minister of culture wants to make footbal to look like the Opera House.

- To paint on faces or other body parts.
I would not be surprised if soon they will introduce one more rule – to come in tuxedos.

I wonder how the government will force fans from other countries to follow these rules (when they will come to international games)? Special people will be running around with Vaseline and will wash their make-up? And will fixate them on the seats during the match? In general. Imagine a stadium where all the fans are sitting on seats, sad, not painted and are silent. This will be a real Zen football. There will be no need in players. Everybody just will come, will sit and will leave stadium with feeling of inner enlightenment

And finally, Uzbek fan who is very upset with new rules:

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